1. When lifting particularly wet/heavy snow, be sure to bend at the knee. If you can bend at mid-thigh, then you have a strange & wonderful talent that you are now duty-bound to share with the World.
2. If you are a Jeffery, and have what we euphemistically refer to as a "very efficient cooling system" (i.e., we sweat like hogs the moment we engage in any form of physical activity), it may become necessary to go inside 1/2way through shoveling to change into dry clothes, before the sweat freezes and makes you uncomfy. If, however, you are STILL a Jeffery, and are already WEARING all your clothes (because of being 3 parts freakshow to 1 part clothes-shopping-phobic), you may not HAVE other clothes to change into. In this case, you have 2 options: A. Throw everything into the dryer and wait to finish shoveling 'til later (REALLY unacceptable to a Jeffery), OR: B. Soldier on through 'til the job is done, wetness be damned.
3. If you don't like shoveling snow, here are some alternatives:
A. Move someplace where it doesn't snow, duh. B. Marry someone who doesn't mind shoveling. Or give birth to Future Shovelers. (Doesn't matter if THEY mind or not; they're gonna do it.) C. Pay someone else to do it. D. Work from home; wait until spring to leave the premises.
4. Clearing flat roofs of snow is only a good idea if you are coordinated enough to do so, and you have someone standing by, finger poised and ready to dial 9-1-1. For the rest of us, the certainty of a tragic mishap far outweighs the relative benefit of having rooms with ceilings.
5. Nose dripping WILL occur. And that, dear children, is why God made mittens.
6. While shoveling, I find myself thinking about subjects both profound (Eskimos' many words for various types of snow), to the mundane (whether or not my sister got a new battery for her watch). I have no explanation for why it is that I do this, other than to say: "I am both intellectual AND boring."
7. Shoveling after a blizzard, I recommend a hot bath with Epsom salts, then applying Icy/Hot to whatever parts of your bod are likely to feel the pain later. For me, this = forearms. For you, it might be other parts. As long as these don't include your eyeballs and the insides of your nostrils, the sky's the limit.
Photo and writing are the work of Megan E. Jeffery. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.